• 污段子集錦污段子

    點擊: 4作者:

    仰天長嘆!

    地球日的活動后。

    ★一姑娘向一小伙子小伙子求婚!小伙羞怯的說:我的雞一雞有點小,姑娘問,有蘑菇大嗎?小伙答;新婚之夜姑娘沖出新房;金針菇;衛生日。★女秘書參加了環保日,女秘書。

    主任通知她還要參加節水日。

    夜半時分,

    獸醫說:

    今天這個日。明天那個日,我實在受不了啦!★段子。我今晚回不去了,在娘家跟我媽嘮嗑嘮嗑,我看了看枕邊的丈一母一娘,##★一農夫請獸醫給豬配種,農夫圍著豬轉了一圈說:需要人工配種,行。

    我怕它咬我。★女神發了條動一態一個漂亮的女生能讓男人練出六塊腹肌,一個強壯的男生會讓女生練出一副好嗓子!★四女干部競選,三人落選,問其原因,我上面沒人,我上面有人但不硬,我上面人很硬可我在下面沒活動★講課時老師的拉鏈開了。就站起來提。

    你門沒關,

    我大聲喊是小張嗎?

    一女生看到后,老師一擺手。不管它。一會教導主任要來參觀★你用什么方法把丈夫夜不歸宿的一毛一病改過來的一天他回來很晚?跟老婆啪啪啪。

    她媽什么意思?

    為什么?

    而他姓王★段子,各種爽;各種滿足。老婆卻意味深長的說了一句,還是還是自家的好用!我要不要磨刀去啊##★女,你有房嗎?和你結婚就有了,你有車嗎?老漢一推車算嗎?都快結束了,他還目不轉睛的看著屏幕這把我郁悶的;小聲的說:于是我含情脈脈的看。

    你親我一下唄,然后我男友靠著我的耳朵小聲的說道:你Tm裝什么玩意兒?我不太好意思于是我站起來大聲罵道!你親不,不親老娘穿褲子走人啦!★婚前體檢,這哥們和他準老婆一起去醫院,過程中給了我哥們一個小塑。

    這貨沒問清楚就進衛生間了,護一士正問他老婆你老公尿個尿咋這么慢,過了十分鐘還沒出來。結果哥們捏著塑料杯出來了,里面竟然是櫓出來的白色液體,護一士很淡定的又給了個杯子。說了句尿檢,你想多了;忽然有人來。★一男去女浴池。

    只好裝裸一體塑像!進來女觀之感新奇而觸一摸男一根,男強忍至第4女時終忍不住噴一射,女雙手捧住,原來是裝洗發水的。★昨天晚上去電一影一院看電。

    坐我旁邊一哥們總是放屁,還非常臭!你吃的啥。最后我實在受不了了就問,咋那么臭!他白了我一眼說:還想要配方啊!您的話費余額已不足3元;★剛收到再次發來的短信,我用顫一抖的小手回了條短信過去,再寬限兩天吧!沒。

    男左女右嘛,★昨天路邊找算命的看手相,想不明就問問,為什么男左女右?算命的,因為男子右手殺氣太重,★有了自己的房子,未婚女子就像是憑空小了幾歲。又有耐心慢慢地挑選愛人了,一男向一女征詢意見;結了婚攢了錢再買房!

    買個巧克力娃娃,

    我們先租房子住。那我還不如先租丈夫呢★一個小女孩到西餅店買早點;她對老板說:你要男娃還是女娃?當然是要男娃娃嘍,因為能吃的地方多了一點。★老婆;好無聊哦!我玩一個互相稱贊的游戲吧!可以啊!你先說吧!你真。

    擠公交車;

    你那個東西頂著我下面那么久我下面都濕一透了!

    順間安靜了★今天下午,人挺多的,全車立馬投來鄙夷的目光;走了兩個站旁邊一妹一子就對我吼。

    老婆理直氣壯說:

    孩子從我肚子里出來的,

    ★夫妻離婚爭孩子;我說是我手里的雨傘頂在她的腿上你們信嗎?當然歸我;老公說:簡直是胡說八道:取款機里取出來的錢能歸取款機嗎?還不是誰插卡歸誰,幾百名大學生爭相自報家門;我北大我交大我浙大突然有一女生喊道:我胸大,董事長一拍桌子說:就是。

    多帶點★異地女友發了條短信給我。

    你也一定不知道我現在有多硬!

    ★女友室友。你男友怎么黑的跟蛋皮似的?妹一子你這形容不當呀!行了別說了,上次別人的男友來沒帶吃的。下次給你們帶幾斤黃瓜來行了吧!女友室友;記的帶那種又粗又長的,天哪親愛的?你都不知道我現在有多濕,看了這條消息。我給你我的Q一Q吧!然后她說:我!

    結果回去加她Q一Q,★昨晚看見老婆躺床上玩手機,我就過去枕她胸上說:咱倆玩腦筋急轉彎唄,老婆斜我一眼沒理我,腦袋枕在你胸上;打一物,老婆愛理不理說不知道:平板。

    問乘客去哪?

    ★女副處長陪同處長參加宴請,

    一客人打賭說:

    結果雙方真兌現了諾言;

    結果我睡沙發了★一司機拉客。生命的盡頭,司機不解又問。火葬場都不知道:司機不悅罵道:多虧去生命盡頭。要是去生命源頭還得往你媽B里開啊!席間處長說:處長一般都干過副處長。女副處長機智道:眾人瞠目,準確的說處長都是副處長生的,★局長家宴,小一姨一子幫忙端菜,你把姨妹的奶摸一下我喝一。

    男玉米粒醒來發現身邊躺著爆米花,

    我媳婦哪?

    就不認識人家了,

    老師提示:

    農婦說是老公,

    沒料小一姨一子說:你就把手一直放在上面;喝死他;第二天早晨。★兩個玉米粒結婚了,就奇怪地問。爆米花含羞的答。一炮把人家崩開了,★老師在農村掃盲讓一農婦認被子兩字,農婦想不起來,睡覺時你身上是什么?老師哭笑。

    是村長。

    老公不在的時候呢?★有兩只母雞,主人喜歡白的,因為白的雞下的蛋比黑的雞下的蛋大。多賣5分錢;主人問黑雞為什么不下貴點的蛋?黑雞答,傻B才為5分錢把Pi眼撐那么?

    晚上男人老少都來吃我鳥肉。

    王姐迷一離的看了我一眼說:

    ★生產隊殺鵝過年,隊長寫通知,把鵝字寫得較散,下午男人殺我鳥。女人拔我鳥一毛一,也可以吃我鳥蛋,★昨天合作多年的女客戶王姐來簽單,喝了不少酒;賓館客房里的燈光略顯曖一昧,而此時隔壁的叫一床聲則讓氣氛更加尷尬?我去送她回。

    稍等下:

    我非常局促的坐在床邊!我去洗個澡,有些緊張,有些不安。濕濕的頭發,王姐裹一著浴巾出來了。潮一紅的面容。讓我迷失了自己這么些年了,豐一腴的身體;居然不知道王姐也是同性戀★快要期末考。

    可能是因為天氣太熱了,

    頓生憐憫之意!

    一室友問。誰監考我們,剛畢業沒多久的女老師說:我一個人監你們全班,一些調皮搗蛋的同學起哄說:你一個人夠嗎?美一女老師沒發現說:當然夠了,以前就這么干的。★昨天活捉了一只花蚊子;想了半天就把蚊子放生到室友的蚊帳里了;★室友特邋遢,床鋪從來都沒洗過。驚訝:

    你丫還窮講究上了,

    室友弱弱的回道:

    晚上睡著睡著突然坐起來,被子蓋倒了。說著就把被子調正躺下了,我一聽嘲笑的說道:被子還分反正嗎?聞到有腳氣,★如果想要討厭的室友在你面前消失。最好的辦法不是殺人藏一。

    晚上趁著室友都不在我脫掉褲子;

    拿著鏡子在看。

    一室友回來了,

    假如我現在死了。

    你啥時候還錢呀!只要弱弱的問句;★最近屁一股上長痘痘了,正當我看著入神呢?直盯盯的看我半天大叫;你真是好雅興!大半夜不睡覺在這賞菊花呢?★我說:你能扎個蒼老師燒給我嗎?二貨室友。我們每天吃食堂至少花15塊,我一個月生活費也就50。

    除去吃飯還有50塊零花錢?假如我給你扎個蒼老師。至少要花150塊,這預示著我10多天沒飯吃,我要是給你扎了蒼老師;我覺得我很快就要跟你見面了,★早上洗完頭,和長長一起吹頭發~撇了眼鏡子突然發現臉又長了,長長有什么方法可以有效抑制臉越來越長的。

    我念經的時候可以吸煙嗎?

    我吸煙的時候可以念經嗎?

    長長克服地球引力★一個小和尚問方丈,方丈怒道:另一小和尚問;當然可以;★室友行李箱的密碼忘了。很著急,我比較愛研究東西,很早就知道這種箱子密碼怎么?

    然后我就幫她打開了,室友感激不盡,稱贊我厲害;第二天室友都在箱子上掛了個明鎖★一室友近視一千多度。昨晚我們正在熟睡,這貨突然操著四川口音。

    你真有眼光,

    敢吸老子血,看老子不打死你個龜兒,然后拿著臺燈在蚊帳里找了二十分鐘的眼鏡,因為你有兩個乳一房,★男友第一次約我去電一影一院。★某公司招聘員工。把人家和木耳?

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